All Is Well

COPINGBlog28…flunking the driving exam…

Forgive me for being a bit naughty by leaving you in suspended animation!

How did I come up with this explanation?  Too many phone calls leading up to “The Big Day” had been devoted to talking about studying for the written driving test without supporting evidence said preparation was actually taking place.

While not a mother myself, donning my Sherlock Holmes hat inspired the intuition my father was trying to pull the wool over my eyes.  Like any kid worth their salt would on an unsuspecting parent!  Chastised by the instructor, he pulled several all-nighters in a row that resulted in a passing grade by Friday.  The little devil!!

Trust in a bigger plan.

At the same time, no matter how intensely nerve-wracking was just this one episode alone, there resides within me a Higher Self that fundamentally accepts all the lessons I’ve learned at both impossible parents’ hands.

As has been consistently the case via my Blogs, I’m therefore not using Trust singularly in the sense of being relied upon, or confident expectation, or belief in the power of character.

Instead, I draw from theories that suggest we each “design” a blueprint for our time on Earth.  Within that game plan, everyone and everything that happens to us by way of challenges, successes and more is there on-purpose to teach us.

Now, a number of my friends would balk to this day at the mere idea!  I “get” it.  They would counter with vociferous objections such as they would have never willingly chosen the (dysfunctional) pair to whom they were born.

All unfolds as it’s meant to.

No matter!  I’m not here to convince or persuade anybody.

All I know – for me – is that I selected my father and mother out of the countless available options on the Planet in order to have experiences that wouldn’t have occurred in a different family unit.

Naturally, during my more frustrated moments, I’ve asked myself, what was I thinking???

Seriously, though, when I reframe my upsets into a conscious choice made from a higher plane, it somehow elevates my broader comprehension of our lives together.

A point to ponder…

Mind you, I don’t diminish the human adversity experienced at their hands.

Yet, I do appreciate I ultimately emerged stronger for having endured those hardships.  From this more detached perspective, I find calming surety.

My parting question is, how can you do the same?


“The Driving Test” – Part 2

COPINGBlog27How many of you have had similar driving test experiences with your aging folks as I did with my father when he was turning 88?

Given a rapidly-growing senior population that needs re-testing, I would have to imagine the answer is lots of you!  Never mind that the whole topic of driving and its spider-like off-shoots is one of THE most contentious amongst un-cope-able elder challenges!  Good grief!

You saw the real McCoy Driver’s Handbook – practically a Bible by which my Dad held himself and other road occupants.  Would you like to know what happened next in the license renewal saga?

Using my sleuthing skills…

Here’s why I zoom in on two theories.

Number one, my father would never permit anyone to hold anything but the most arrogant opinion of his driving prowess.  To describe him as less than “Bill the [summer] Truck Driver who [in his imagination] single-handedly won WWII by driving engine mounts to the plant manufacturing Lancaster Bombers of WWII Fame” would’ve destroyed his ego beyond recognition.  I’m not joking!

Second, he was adamant about having “a thing or two to teach that guy [the instructor] about driving who doesn’t even own a vehicle for Pete’s sake”.  I can readily envision my father becoming so incensed at having to submit a fifth time to a mandatory lecture he stridently believed necessary only for unworthy peons, that he was expelled from class!

You need to bring it all to the table.

You can start to see why I felt like a detective!  You, too, will need the finest intelligence.  This means asking plenty of open-ended questions.  Think back on all those communication skills training programs you’ve attended.

Let’s also recall Laughter as a means to right-size otherwise completely exasperating circumstances.  Do you permit me and family members the total roar we had over a retired school principal being thrown out of class for belligerence?  That one was good for about fifteen minutes of straight belly laughs!!

Notice how Neutrality (so that your buttons don’t get pushed by what you hear) and Openness (to allow you to take in the full picture) will come in exceptionally handy when you Clarify.

Looking ahead…

Do you continue to see how the BEING Attitudes and DOING ACTIONS go hand-in-hand?

As a bridge into the actions of Trust and Observe, I determined through careful listening and focused questions that the most likely explanation regarding the failed driving test was…